notes

Teaching Consent to Small Children 

bebinn:

mysalivaismygifttotheworld:

afrafemme:

A friend and I were out with our kids when another family’s two-year-old came up. She began hugging my friend’s 18-month-old, following her around and smiling at her. My friend’s little girl looked like she wasn’t so sure she liked this, and at that moment the other little girl’s mom came up and got down on her little girl’s level to talk to her.

“Honey, can you listen to me for a moment? I’m glad you’ve found a new friend, but you need to make sure to look at her face to see if she likes it when you hug her. And if she doesn’t like it, you need to give her space. Okay?”

Two years old, and already her mother was teaching her about consent.

My daughter Sally likes to color on herself with markers. I tell her it’s her body, so it’s her choice. Sometimes she writes her name, sometimes she draws flowers or patterns. The other day I heard her talking to her brother, a marker in her hand.

“Bobby, do you mind if I color on your leg?”

Bobby smiled and moved himself closer to his sister. She began drawing a pattern on his leg with a marker while he watched, fascinated. Later, she began coloring on the sole of his foot. After each stoke, he pulled his foot back, laughing. I looked over to see what was causing the commotion, and Sally turned to me.

“He doesn’t mind if I do this,” she explained, “he is only moving his foot because it tickles. He thinks its funny.” And she was right. Already Bobby had extended his foot to her again, smiling as he did so.

What I find really fascinating about these two anecdotes is that they both deal with the consent of children not yet old enough to communicate verbally. In both stories, the older child must read the consent of the younger child through nonverbal cues. And even then, consent is not this ambiguous thing that is difficult to understand.

Teaching consent is ongoing, but it starts when children are very young. It involves both teaching children to pay attention to and respect others’ consent (or lack thereof) and teaching children that they should expect their own bodies and their own space to be respected—even by their parents and other relatives.

And if children of two or four can be expected to read the nonverbal cues and expressions of children not yet old enough to talk in order to assess whether there is consent, what excuse do full grown adults have?

I try to do this every day I go to nursery and gosh it makes me so happy to see it done elsewhere.

Yes, consent is nonsexual, too!

Not only that, but one of the reasons many child victims of sexual abuse don’t reach out is that they don’t have the understanding or words for what is happening to them, and why it isn’t okay. Teaching kids about consent helps them build better relationships and gives them the tools to seek help if they or a friend need our protection.

posted 1 week ago, on Apr/10/2014
via wretchedoftheearth, originally from afrafemme

"The legacy of anti-Black racism is that Black struggle gets deemed the property of all other social justice struggles. The symbols and tactics of Black struggle are deemed the common property of all. Black people are required to show solidarity with other people of color, without other people of color owing solidarity to Black communities. Black oppression is always analogized to other forms of oppression in a manner that disappears Black oppression itself. It is presumed we already know everything about Black oppression, so we can just use it as an empty signifier to explain other oppressions." —

Andrea Smith, as quoted by @prisonculture on twitter. (via so-treu)

Damn. TELL IT.

Black oppression is always analogized to other forms of oppression in a manner that disappears Black oppression itself.

If I had a dollar for every. fucking. time.someone compared being black to being gay, or disabled, or…..anything really. 

(via dearaudre)

THIS!!!!!!!

(via jcoleknowsbest)

Solidarity ain’t shit if it only goes one way.

posted 1 week ago, on Apr/10/2014
via winterofcontent, originally from so-treu

(Source: siquia)

posted 1 week ago, on Apr/10/2014
via reservoircat, originally from siquia
notes
madamethursday:

[Image: A late 1800’s photograph in sepia tones showing Mary Bowser, a Black woman wearing a dress from that period and holding a closed umbrella almost like a cane, looking straight ahead.]
everythingsbetterwithbisexuals:

lucymontero:

lexkixass:

mooglemisbehaving:

gogogadgetgoatkins:

Mary Bowser, former slave of the Van Lew family, infiltrated the Confederacy by working as a servant in the household of Jefferson Davis. Bowser was assumed to be illiterate, and as a black woman was below suspicion. Practically invisible, she was able to listen to conversations between Confederate officials and read sensitive documents, gathering information that she handed over to the Union.
(From National Woman’s History Museum Facebook Page)

This needs to be a movie. Like, now.

I’d watch this movie.

How is this not a movie?

*throws money at Hollywood*



Hell yes. But you know they’d derail a legit badass such as Mary with some bullshit “love story” with a white knight.

madamethursday:

[Image: A late 1800’s photograph in sepia tones showing Mary Bowser, a Black woman wearing a dress from that period and holding a closed umbrella almost like a cane, looking straight ahead.]

everythingsbetterwithbisexuals:

lucymontero:

lexkixass:

mooglemisbehaving:

gogogadgetgoatkins:

Mary Bowser, former slave of the Van Lew family, infiltrated the Confederacy by working as a servant in the household of Jefferson Davis. Bowser was assumed to be illiterate, and as a black woman was below suspicion. Practically invisible, she was able to listen to conversations between Confederate officials and read sensitive documents, gathering information that she handed over to the Union.

(From National Woman’s History Museum Facebook Page)

This needs to be a movie. Like, now.

I’d watch this movie.

How is this not a movie?

*throws money at Hollywood*

Hell yes. But you know they’d derail a legit badass such as Mary with some bullshit “love story” with a white knight.

posted 1 week ago, on Apr/10/2014
via reservoircat, originally from gogogadgetgoatkins

THAT FACE!

(Source: guremike.jp)

posted 1 week ago, on Apr/10/2014
via derpycats, originally from guremike.jp
notes

"Ancient moon priestesses were called virgins. ‘Virgin’ meant not married, not belonging to a man - a woman who was ‘one-in-herself’. The very word derives from a Latin root meaning strength, force, skill; and was later applied to men: virile. Ishtar, Diana, Astarte, Isis were all called virgin, which did not refer to sexual chastity, but sexual independence. And all great culture heroes of the past, mythic or historic, were said to be born of virgin mothers: Marduk, Gilgamesh, Buddha, Osiris, Dionysus, Genghis Khan, Jesus - they were all affirmed as sons of the Great Mother, of the Original One, their worldly power deriving from her. When the Hebrews used the word, and in the original Aramaic, it meant ‘maiden’ or ‘young woman’, with no connotations to sexual chastity. But later Christian translators could not conceive of the ‘Virgin Mary’ as a woman of independent sexuality, needless to say; they distorted the meaning into sexually pure, chaste, never touched." —

Monica Sjoo, The Great Cosmic Mother: Rediscovering the Religion of the Earth (via tierdropp)

Y’all need to know this.

(via deanplease)

^ AWESOME HISTORICAL FACTS RIGHT HERE

(via thefingerfuckingfemalefury)

Need to finish reading that book :-)

Putting on my book list!

(Source: ynannarising)

posted 1 week ago, on Apr/10/2014
via davidbowieruinedmylife, originally from ynannarising
notes
homoarigato:

TRIGGER WARNINGS:
explicit sexual descriptions, drug and alcohol mentions, and ableist words in a lot of the tracks, domestic violence mentions in truth tella and get down, the words ‘fat b***h’ in truth tella, child sexual abuse mention in holy water
homoarigato:

A QUEER RAP PLAYLIST - LISTEN (8tracks) - NSFW
1. wish you would (ft. princess nokia) - mykki blanco 2. truth tella (ft. cakes da killa) - lsd xoxo 3. blk wiccan - zebra katz 4. #grindtime - dai burger 5. holy water (ft. dai burger, anthony foxxx, will sheridan) - big momma 6. boom - le1f 7. succubi - azealia banks 8. crown - angel haze 9. get down - amplify dot 10. guerrilla - roxxxan



Thank you so much for the trigger warnings! You are amazing.

homoarigato:

TRIGGER WARNINGS:

explicit sexual descriptions, drug and alcohol mentions, and ableist words in a lot of the tracks, domestic violence mentions in truth tella and get down, the words ‘fat b***h’ in truth tella, child sexual abuse mention in holy water

homoarigato:

A QUEER RAP PLAYLISTLISTEN (8tracks) - NSFW

1. wish you would (ft. princess nokia) - mykki blanco 2. truth tella (ft. cakes da killa) - lsd xoxo 3. blk wiccan - zebra katz 4. #grindtime - dai burger 5. holy water (ft. dai burger, anthony foxxx, will sheridan) - big momma 6. boom - le1f 7. succubi - azealia banks 8. crown - angel haze 9. get down - amplify dot 10. guerrilla - roxxxan

Thank you so much for the trigger warnings! You are amazing.

posted 2 weeks ago, on Apr/03/2014
via queerthanks, originally from homoarigato

asap-rock-lee:

yeezitaughtmewell:

asap-rock-lee:

codeinewarrior:

gookgod:

i am a white male and i speak for all white males when i say i am uncomfortable with how we are portrayed on this website  

amen brother. did you get the coleslaw and mayonnaise casserole i sent you?

hey do you brahs wanna go to my house later and drink some monster energy drinks and look at my DC shoe collection

Thats so fucking rude

so was slavery

posted 2 weeks ago, on Apr/03/2014
via officialprincessjasmine, originally from gookgod
notes

"As terms like womanism, intersectionality, and women of color enter the mainstream, it is important to remember that they do not exist in a vacuum. They were created by Black women to address the ways in which we feel excluded from mainstream feminism. Kimberle Crenshaw, Patricia Hill Collins, Loretta Ross, Audre Lorde, and bell hooks are more than names to pluck convenient quotes from when it suits you. They are Black feminists, and they are part of a long tradition that can be traced back to Ida B. Wells-Barnett and beyond. So when your idea of feminism in 2013 harkens back to the racist, sexist rhetoric thrown at Wells-Barnett by Susan B. Anthony and Frances Willard, then what kind of movement are you trying to build? If your definition of feminism is rooted in Mammy myths, what can be built with you? Are you fighting for equality for all, or your right to be equal in oppressing Black women?" — Mikki Kendall (karnythia), "For Black Women, Everything is a Feminist Issue" (via so-treu)

posted 2 weeks ago, on Apr/03/2014
via weareallmixedup, originally from so-treu
notes
america-wakiewakie:

"Bad-Jacketing": Lessons In Domestic Counter Intelligence & American Political Repression | AmericaWakieWakie
Considering this has happened to both my comrades and I, the importance of informing you all of the lengths government will go to in order to maintain its monopoly of violence and power over we citizens is paramount to each of our safety. This will be the first installment of unveiling tactics used against radicals and the greater American public.
Today we cover a tactic called “Bad-Jacketing” first employed by infiltration units of the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) called COINTELPROs, an acronym for COunter INTELligence PROgram, used as means of covert, and at times illegal, projects aimed at surveying, infiltrating, discrediting, and disrupting domestic political organizations (Wikipedia). 

“Snitch-jacketing” or “bad-jacketing” refers to the practice of creating suspicion — through the spread of rumors, manufacture of evidence, etc. — that bona fide organizational members, usually in key positions, are FBI/police informers, guilty of such offenses as skimming organizational funds and the like. The purpose of this tactic was to “isolate and eliminate” organizational leadership; such efforts were continued — and in some instances accelerated — when it became known that the likely outcome would be extreme physical violence visited upon the “jacketed” individuals(s). Bad-jacketing was [and is] a very commonly used technique. For instance, in a COINTELPRO proposal submitted on July 10, 1968 by the SAC, New York, to the Director, it was recommended that:
“…consideration be given to convey the impression that [SNCC leader Stokely] CARMICHAEL is a CIA informer. One method of accomplishing [this] would be to have a carbon copy of informant report reportedly written by CARMICHAEL to the CIA carefully deposited in the automobile of a close Black Nationalist friend… It is hoped that when the informant report is read it will help promote distrust between CARMICHAEL and the Black Community… It is also suggested that we inform a certain percentage of reliable criminal and racial informants that “we have heard from reliable sources that CARMICHAEL is a CIA agent.” It is hoped that these informants would spread the rumor in various large Negro communities across the land.”
The proposal, which was approved the next day, also contained a report on another COINTELPRO directed at Carmichael:
“On 7/4/68, a pretext phone call was placed to the residence of STOKELY CARMICHAEL and in absence of CARMICHAEL his mother was told that a friend was calling who was fearful of the future safety of her son. It was explained to Mrs. CARMICHAEL the absolute necessity for CARMICHAEL to ‘hide-out’ inasmuch as several BPP members were out to kill him, and it was probably to be done sometime this week. Mrs. CARMICHAEL appeared shocked upon hearing the news and stated she would tell STOKELY when he came home.”
One result of Carmichael’s bad-jacketing may be detected in the statement of Black Panther Minister of Defense Huey P. Newton on September 5, 1970 that, “We… charge that Stokely Carmichael is operating as an agent of the CIA.”
While such exercises may seem on their face to be merely slimy, the more lethal implications were brought out clearly by an FBI infiltrator named Thomas E. Mosher who had penetrated the Bay Area Radical Union in 1969 and “insinuated [himself] into a relationship with the national office of the Black Panther Party.” As he later explained…, Fred Bennett, a prominent Bay Area Panther and “general in George Jackson’s People’s Army,” had been successfully bad-jacketed as a police informer at some point in mid-1969. Consquently, Bennett was executed by Jimmie Car, another ranking Panther and People’s Army commander… [A] bad-jacket operation was also under way against Carr; by early 1972, the idea had been successfully implanted in movement circles that Carr was a police agent and was skimming funds from the People’s Army. He was assassinated in his own San Francisco front yard April 6 of that year by Richard Rodriguez (a Southern California Panther) and Llyod Lamar Mims (an L.A. Panther)…”

— Ward Churchill & Jim Vander Wall | Agents of Repression: The FBI’s Wars Against the Black Panther Party and the American Indian Movement (1988)
Considering how easy this is for police and federal agencies to do, I do hope if ever you or one of your comrades is accused of informing/cooperating with police repression you will be vigilant of the divisive nature of such allegations and skeptical of the accusers (if known).  

america-wakiewakie:

"Bad-Jacketing": Lessons In Domestic Counter Intelligence & American Political Repression | AmericaWakieWakie

Considering this has happened to both my comrades and I, the importance of informing you all of the lengths government will go to in order to maintain its monopoly of violence and power over we citizens is paramount to each of our safety. This will be the first installment of unveiling tactics used against radicals and the greater American public.

Today we cover a tactic called “Bad-Jacketing” first employed by infiltration units of the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) called COINTELPROs, an acronym for COunter INTELligence PROgram, used as means of covert, and at times illegal, projects aimed at surveying, infiltrating, discrediting, and disrupting domestic political organizations (Wikipedia). 

“Snitch-jacketing” or “bad-jacketing” refers to the practice of creating suspicion — through the spread of rumors, manufacture of evidence, etc. — that bona fide organizational members, usually in key positions, are FBI/police informers, guilty of such offenses as skimming organizational funds and the like. The purpose of this tactic was to “isolate and eliminate” organizational leadership; such efforts were continued — and in some instances accelerated — when it became known that the likely outcome would be extreme physical violence visited upon the “jacketed” individuals(s). Bad-jacketing was [and is] a very commonly used technique. For instance, in a COINTELPRO proposal submitted on July 10, 1968 by the SAC, New York, to the Director, it was recommended that:

“…consideration be given to convey the impression that [SNCC leader Stokely] CARMICHAEL is a CIA informer. One method of accomplishing [this] would be to have a carbon copy of informant report reportedly written by CARMICHAEL to the CIA carefully deposited in the automobile of a close Black Nationalist friend… It is hoped that when the informant report is read it will help promote distrust between CARMICHAEL and the Black Community… It is also suggested that we inform a certain percentage of reliable criminal and racial informants that “we have heard from reliable sources that CARMICHAEL is a CIA agent.” It is hoped that these informants would spread the rumor in various large Negro communities across the land.”

The proposal, which was approved the next day, also contained a report on another COINTELPRO directed at Carmichael:

“On 7/4/68, a pretext phone call was placed to the residence of STOKELY CARMICHAEL and in absence of CARMICHAEL his mother was told that a friend was calling who was fearful of the future safety of her son. It was explained to Mrs. CARMICHAEL the absolute necessity for CARMICHAEL to ‘hide-out’ inasmuch as several BPP members were out to kill him, and it was probably to be done sometime this week. Mrs. CARMICHAEL appeared shocked upon hearing the news and stated she would tell STOKELY when he came home.”

One result of Carmichael’s bad-jacketing may be detected in the statement of Black Panther Minister of Defense Huey P. Newton on September 5, 1970 that, “We… charge that Stokely Carmichael is operating as an agent of the CIA.”

While such exercises may seem on their face to be merely slimy, the more lethal implications were brought out clearly by an FBI infiltrator named Thomas E. Mosher who had penetrated the Bay Area Radical Union in 1969 and “insinuated [himself] into a relationship with the national office of the Black Panther Party.” As he later explained…, Fred Bennett, a prominent Bay Area Panther and “general in George Jackson’s People’s Army,” had been successfully bad-jacketed as a police informer at some point in mid-1969. Consquently, Bennett was executed by Jimmie Car, another ranking Panther and People’s Army commander… [A] bad-jacket operation was also under way against Carr; by early 1972, the idea had been successfully implanted in movement circles that Carr was a police agent and was skimming funds from the People’s Army. He was assassinated in his own San Francisco front yard April 6 of that year by Richard Rodriguez (a Southern California Panther) and Llyod Lamar Mims (an L.A. Panther)…”

— Ward Churchill & Jim Vander Wall | Agents of Repression: The FBI’s Wars Against the Black Panther Party and the American Indian Movement (1988)

Considering how easy this is for police and federal agencies to do, I do hope if ever you or one of your comrades is accused of informing/cooperating with police repression you will be vigilant of the divisive nature of such allegations and skeptical of the accusers (if known).  

posted 2 weeks ago, on Apr/02/2014
via navigatethestream, originally from america-wakiewakie
notes

"

Mainstream feminists of the 1960s and 1970s regarded the issue of reproductive rights as exclusively the winning of legal abortion, without acknowledging the racist policies that have historically prevented women of color from bearing and raising as many children as they wanted.

[Angela] Davis argues that the history of the birth control movement and its racist sterilization programs necessarily make the issue of reproductive rights far more complicated for Black women and other women of color, who have historically been the targets of this abuse. Davis traces the path of twentieth-century birth-control pioneer Margaret Sanger from her early days as a socialist to her conversion to the eugenics movement, an openly racist approach to population control based on the slogan, “[More] children from the fit, less from the unfit.”

Those “unfit” to bear children, according to the eugenicists, included the mentally and physically disabled, prisoners, and the non-white poor. As Davis noted, “By 1932, the Eugenics Society could boast that at least twenty-six states had passed compulsory sterilization laws, and that thousands of ‘unfit’ persons had been surgically prevented from reproducing.”

In launching the “Negro Project” in 1939, Sanger’s American Birth Control League argued, “[T]he mass of Negroes, particularly in the South, still breed carelessly and disastrously.” In a personal letter, Sanger confided, “We do not want word to get out that we want to exterminate the Negro population and the minister is the man who can straighten out that idea if it ever occurs to their more rebellious members.”

Racist population-control policies left large numbers of Black women, Latinas, and Native American women sterilized against their will or without their knowledge. In 1974, an Alabama court found that between 100,000 and 150,000 poor Black teenagers were sterilized each year in Alabama.

" —

Reproductive rights and racist sterilization abuse

(via gynocraticgrrl)

posted 2 weeks ago, on Apr/02/2014
via thisisnotindia, originally from gynocraticgrrl
notes

clannyphantom:

i struggle with wanting people to buy me things and then feeling guilty if someone spends money on me

THIS

posted 2 weeks ago, on Apr/01/2014
via reservoircat, originally from clannyphantom
notes

safequeersex:

a guide directed for FTM transition was already posted, so I pulled up some old links I had bookmarked for dmab/transgender women to aid transition! 

breastforms 
sewing pattern for silicone bead forms
low budget diy breast forms [video] 
creating cleavage with bras [video] 
"illusion" cleavage with makeup [video] 

tucking/gaffe 
tucking and creating gaffe [video] 
tucking forum and thread 

wigs and hair
quality low budget wigs
cute hairstyles on pinterest
more cute short femme hair
hairstyle guide & beauty

makeup 
tutorials for beginners
quality makeup for less money
choosing foundation
ask mod li about makeup

surgery & hrt guides 
surgery booklet 
hrt booklet

housing, crisis lines and help 
trans-friendly shelter guide
self harm & lgbtq support
stay safe! xoxo ♡ mod li


EDIT: It has been brought to my attention that susansplace can potentially have triggering material and users. Please proceed with caution.
posted 2 weeks ago, on Apr/01/2014
via thenonbinarysafespace, originally from safequeersex
notes

Queer Muslim Masterpost 

strawberreli:

This post pretty much came about because I was asked if I had resources for Muslims who were discovering or newly coming to terms with their sexuality. I didn’t, and the poor advice I had to offer was … poor. So, I pulled up a few of the blogs I followed that are targeted…

posted 2 weeks ago, on Apr/01/2014
via thenonbinarysafespace, originally from strawberreli
notes

actuallyclintbarton:

this literally made me cry

(Source: chizuu)

posted 2 weeks ago, on Apr/01/2014
via winterofcontent, originally from chizuu

toska

“No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom.”
- Vladimir Nabokov